Do I have to wear that?

Dear Drake,

I promised to try my damnedest to not make you wear a lame ass Halloween costume every year.

When I was little, ages 2-4, I had super cute costumes.  I was Little Bo-Peep and I distinctly remember being a witch.  The witch costume probably stuck in my head because it rained that Halloween and everyone commented on my awesome green make-up.  Obviously it was dark so we didn't realize that since it had been drizzling all night, the green dye from the witch had and seeped down into my hair and my face.  Whoops!

But then, as I got older, I don't think it was that fun for my parents to take me trick-or-treating.  We lived in the country so there was no walking door-to-door.  We drove to people's houses we knew which were far and few between.

Anyway, there was one particular Halloween costume that was just atrocious!!  Halloween sneaked up on my mom and I wanted an AWESOME costume.  So, what did I get?  I got a red, white polka-dotted bow tie and a painted black nose.  This was supposed to equal Minnie Mouse somehow.  I was embarrassed but went out trick-or-treating anyway.  After that, I pretty much gave up.  I never did get another amazing Halloween costume.

So, this is my promise - You will not get some half-ass thrown together costume that says 'I don't care'.  Instead, I will plan and save up money (or learn to sew!) so you can have a sweet costume.  Grandma used to get someone to sew costumes for me and those are the awesome ones.  I loved the pilgrim in 3rd grade and how cool would it be for me to feel comfortable enough to be Little Bo-Peep again and you could be my sheep!

Anyway, cool costumes = super fun!  And that's my goal for you!  Plus, Halloween only comes once a year and it's so much fun to play make-believe.  Who can resist?!?!  For your first Halloween, you were a doctor/surgeon.  SO CUTE!  And of all things that made you laugh, a small blow-up beach ball had you giggling in fits!  Here's the video:

Love,
Your hopefully very creative Mom :o)

The First Letter

I've been MIA for quite some time now.  I've been struggling.

Struggling with weight.
Struggling with motivation.
Struggling with anger.

And through my struggles, I've realized that I strive for an unrealistic perfection in everything.  I have somehow lost my authenticity.  I found myself becoming mean.  

Let me tell you about being mean.  I was a bully when I was in grade school.  Yes, a bully.  I was abusive and called people names that to this day I absolutely regret.  I was trying to hide my insecurities and the things I did made those 'important' to me laugh.  Then, something happened.  Before we ended 6th grade, a girl (who I totally envied and was jealous of!) told me I was a bully and that I was mean.  MEAN!  

When I found myself in Junior High, I backed down, I hid inside myself and quite honestly, I did not like junior high one bit.  But I made some life long friends there because I wasn't mean.  I wasn't a shining star and I was incredibly awkward.  I wore a vest and mock turtle necks almost every day for Pete's sake!.  Good times!

Anyway, high school came and I started to find myself.  I wasn't mean, I wasn't a bully, and I wasn't afraid of my own shadow.  I made amazing friends and went through more growing pains that make up who I am today.  

And so, thank you Kelly Kormeier for telling me the truth!  I was mean.  I still am sometimes.  But even more so, I learned to step into other people's shoes.  Think about how what I say and do may affect them.  Which leads me to my next 'struggle'.

Mommyhood.

I want to be the perfect Mom.  I don't want to be mean to my kid because being mean has negative connotations and a whole history of childhood baggage.  But yet, I need to walk away from my child at times.  I need to say no.  It's just such a fine line and the guilt can be overwhelming.  

And somehow through all those thoughts, I've decided to take a different route with this blog.  

It will be dedicated to letters.  Letters to my child.  To myself.  To my family.  To strangers.  To whomever I want it to be!  So here's my first letter.

Dear Sarah,

Don't be mean.  Don't fall into that trap that so many people fall into and constantly criticize other and compare yourself to others.  It's stupid and will only make you be in a bad mood.  

Be patient, be kind, and know that Drake loves you and he knows you love him.  He smiles any time he sees you and making him soothe himself to sleep is not the worst thing in the world.  Telling him no to playing with your cell phone is not a bad thing.  Setting boundaries is a good thing!  And stop being so hard on yourself and when you feel doubt, watch this video:

What Kids Think of Mom

Your Pal, 

Me!

5 Reasons you should believe your husband when he tells you 'You're Beautiful'

This last weekend was awesome and awesomely bad...

I went out dancing and pulled an all-nighter which I'm not even sure I ever did that when I was in college at Columbia, MO. It was fantastic!  I shook my booty for like 2 hours straight.  I literally had sweat dripping off my chin (not attractive, no no no!) and my legs were even sweaty.  I didn't think my legs could sweat!!

Sorry friends if you don't want to be on my blog--too bad!  You are all freaking awesome so don't fret!

But here's what I wrote on my personal Facebook page...

I'm drunk and I don't feel pretty but I get to dance soon!!! Woot!

My husband, Jake, was NOT happy with that post.  

He didn't care that I was out dancing with the girls, and no he didn't really mind that I was out until 5am.  He didn't care that Sprout had a bad night and didn't want to sleep for him.  

He REALLY cared that I did NOT feel PRETTY.  

I honestly never gave it much thought, but I essentially gave him a slap in the face.  

Nearly every single day this man tells me I'm beautiful, gorgeous, cute, pretty, sexy, hot, or some wonderful compliment.  But to be 100% honest, I thought it was just saying it to be nice...not that he actually MEANT it.  

So imagine my surprise when he says he ALWAYS means it and he'd never 'just say' something like that to me unless he genuinely felt that way.

Wow, did I feel like an ASS.  

Cause guess what ladies?!?!  I say the same things to him and he BELIEVES me.  And just like him, I mean every.single.word.I.say.  

So it got me thinking...

Here are...

5 Reasons You Should Believe Your Husband When He Tells You 'You're Beautiful'

5.  Women need to learn how to take a freaking compliment!  

Why can't women take a compliment?  If you know the answer, please enlighten me.  When people say, 'Cute shirt, Sarah' I totally minimize it by saying something like 'Yeah, it's like the only cute thing in my closet.'  Instead, I need to say, 'Gee, thanks!  That makes me feel good!'  I'm going to work on this and try my damnedest to take things at face value.  It's a sad world if everyone has some hidden agenda in what they say to me!!

4.  Get some freakin' self-esteem!!!  

I view myself as a fairly confident person.  I'm opinionated.  I'm loud.  I laugh at myself.  But I rarely look in the mirror and say 'Damn Girl!' or 'Hmm, I look nice today.'  Everyone has bad hair days, everyone gets an outbreak of acne, everyone feels fat (even skinny girls do!).  But the difference here is that I then scrutinize myself the rest of the day and think that people care sooooo much about little old me, they judge me every step down the aisle in Walmart, Mall, Road, Wherever!  That's simply not how the world works.  I need to practice what I preach and get some more confidence and own whatever I am wearing, doing, loving, and living.  

3.  You know you'll look back at today and think 'Holy shit!  I WAS pretty!'

I found this picture below from 1999 - I think I was 16 or 17 and I know at the time I thought I was one ugly duckling.  I see that picture now and I'm like shit...I was freaking gorgeous and didn't even know it.  DAMMIT!  

But you know what, I am going to be this girl again.  I'm going to lose weight and feel better.  But before I even do that...I'm going to believe the compliments I am given.

2.  Your husband loves you and MEANS it when he says 'You're beautiful'.

Your husband and really most men in general (sorry dudes!), don't sit around and think, 'Hmmm, what shenanigans-esque crap shall I tell my wife today?'  They just don't think like that.  Hell, I just found out that the reason my husband leaves stuff EVERYWHERE and nothing goes back where it belongs is because he doesn't think 'Oh, that doesn't go there, it goes in the pantry.'  Instead his mind thinks, 'I don't want to hold this trash any more so I'll just leave it on the couch.'  Irritating to women, but goes to show just how genuine they are when they tell us things.  It's not that men are simple-minded neanderthals, but they are simple in their feelings and don't over analyze (ehhem, women!).  Take what they say at face value and end it there.  

1.  Turnabout is fair play!

How would you feel if your husband questioned your intentions with every compliment?  Wouldn't make you feel very good, would it?  No, no, no, it sure wouldn't.  In fact, I know I would be one pissed off wife and would say 'Why don't you believe me?  Am I a liar?'.  Yikes!  So, do us all a favor and BELIEVE with every fiber of your being that your husband thinks you are beautiful.  And guess what, he doesn't just think it, he KNOWS it.  

You.Are.Beautiful.

Wishful thinking...

Thanks to Diary of a Fat Mommy's blog post today!  It really got my juices flowing!

I've been sitting here the past month it feel like wishing I had:

• Lost more weight
• Exercised more
• Ate better food choices
• Had chosen a different haircut
• Played more with Drake
• Kept my house cleaner

I can wish, wish, wish, all I want, but that doesn't actually DO anything.

And then I found this quote on Pinterest and yup, it pretty much sums it up for me right now.  

I'm spending so much on WISHING I'd done things, that it's taking away from time when I can actually DO THEM!

Part of my problem is planning.  

For some reason, I love to have this pretty little plan organized.  I guess it's the control freak in me...ugh!

But life has been very VERY UNPLANNED lately.  Crazy shit going on, ya'll!! 

But then I read how other mom and dad's still manage to get a work out in.  And let's be real here...

I watch Supernatural while on lunch and really, I can eat a sandwich in like 10-15 minutes and then workout or walk or at least MOVE for the next 30-45 minutes.  I just choose NOT to do it.

So, guess what folks!!  As Amy from Diary of a Fat Mommy said 'Shits Getting Real'!

I got nowhere to be early in the AM other than out on the track busting my ass to Couch 2 5K, week 4, day 2.  And I KNOW I can jog for 5 minutes at a time.  I'm pretty sure if I made myself do it, I could probably jog a whole mile straight.  

Oh which brings up another thing...

Guess who FINALLY signed up for her 5K?!?!

THIS GIRL!!  

Graffitti Run in STL - October 6 

Since it's my first 5K and I have no idea what to expect, other than people throwing color at me, I'm just hoping to jog roughly 2/3 of it.  If I can run 2 miles of it, I will be a very happy camper.  So, if I want to meet that goal....I gots to get my shit together!  ASAP!!!

Also - want to jog/run with me?!?!  Join my team - Tickeled Pink!  (the word tickeled looks so strange to me)

For those peeps out there that are awesome planners, what'd you do to fit workouts in?  What motivated you?  Hit me up with your tips!

I feel pretty!

I feel silly admitting this, but I do not feel pretty on a normal day-to-day basis?

Is this normal?  Do other women, girls, ladies feel like this?

I did, however, have a great moment while visiting Atlanta, GA a couple weeks ago. 

I had just gotten my hair chopped off and was feeling kinda antsy about it.  Of course a lot of people freaked when I mentioned I wanted to go short again, but I just knew I wanted to do it.  Plus, I'm stubborn as hell.  I get an idea in my head and I don't stop until I do it or get it.

Anyway, I love my haircut, but since my pregnancy my hair has gotten a ten time more curly!  So if I don't actually take the time to style my short hair, I kinda look like a lunatic.  No joke there.  I really do look crazy - like bad 70's hair or some shit.  Also, the curly-short hair look reminds me of old-lady hair.  I.DO.NOT.WANT.OLD.LADY.HAIR!!!!!

But something happened on that magical Saturday getting ready for the wedding.  I put styling mousse in my hair that morning, it got a little wavy, but not in a little, old lady kind of way.  Before the wedding I straightened it and slapped on a little eye makeup and lip gloss and guess what.

I felt PRETTY!

I was messing around with Sprout at the wedding and took a selfie and was like WHO WAS THAT?!?!  

I, for once in my life, looked put together.  And I did it all by myself.  No one did it for me.  I felt younger and I felt GOOD.  

So then I was all like whoa--I better take more pictures in case this doesn't happen again!!

We went to the wedding photo booth.

Thank HNM Photo - https://www.facebook.com/HnmPhotobooths

I love the second picture of me from the photo booth.  It pretty much sums up how I felt that night.

Today, as I'm writing this, feel pretty again.  I've recreated the hair do and my skin looks glowing!

NOTE:  I AM NOT PREGNANT.  Just because a woman's skin glows, does NOT immediately mean she's carrying a baby.  

I swear that since I've started working out way back in June, my skin is infinitely better.  I guess I am drinking more water and that's helping AND the fact that I am not chomping down on McNuggets 24/7.  It's seriously night and day.  

I'm so excited to be on the weight loss path again.  Do you ever notice how much YOUNGER a person looks when they lose weight?  It's like it shed the years off them too!  Not that I feel I look old, but I want to look youthful and not like a couch potato.  I want to continue this 'I feel pretty' phase.  

So ladies (and gents, I suppose too), do you feel pretty today?  If not, why?  For me, it's always been about my hair.  I swear in high school, I would have been a foxy lady if I'd just gotten a decent hair cut and someone would have taught me how to actually style it.  I'm so going to find some high school pics and scan them for you this week.

  

Re-Start!

Well, I haven't posted anything in a long time!  Shame on me!

Life got super busy and honestly, my time was so limited that I couldn't find time to write a post.  Oh sure, I could have written something on my phone, but darn it - it's hard on that tiny screen!

Here's a little recap of what's been going on...

• My mom is now scheduled for her mastectomy in late August.  So long as everything goes as intended, NO chemo or radiation.  Woot!
• My mom also was in the hospital last weekend due to her COPD - that was a super crazy, wild weekend!
• I didn't work out for nearly 3 weeks!  Shame on me!  But my back is TONS better and my nasty cough/cold has pretty much gone away.  
• Our Dave Ramsey budget is going fabulously!!  We've paid off 2 credit cards this month.  And it's amazing to see just how much we spent on JUNK.  Absolute JUNK!!
• Baby Sprout can now roll over from his tummy to his back and can sit up like a champ!  He's 6 months now!  How exciting!!
• Jake has been a studying fool.  He's got final exams and last minute papers to write.  This means I help him study, become his proofreader, and help keep Drake happy so Daddy can get his school work done.  

And that pretty much brings you up to speed.  

What I am most proud about is that during that time, I've managed to NOT gain any weight and lose a couple pounds too.  I need to hop on the scale and get an official number and take some pictures!  

Oh!  And I finallllllllly worked out again.  I think I was so scared I'd be back to square one that I was avoiding my Couch to 5K program with every fiber of my being.  I am supposed to be on week 7 by now, but still on week 4.  Anyway, last night I had my parents watch Sprout so I could see how bad I was.  

I redid a day from week 3 just to kind of ease myself back into the grove of walking/jogging.  And guess what!  I didn't suck!!!  Was it still challenging?  Yes, but no more than it usually is so I was thrilled that my body didn't revert back to day one.  Tomorrow I will continue with week 4 and I'm feeling really good again.  

Stay tuned for Monday's post - I feel pretty!

I'm back in action!

Seems like it's been forever since I've blogged!!

A lot has happened since then so I'll try to make it as short as possible.

Went to ATL, came home, the end.

Ha, okay I'll give you more details than that...

Jake, Sprout and I were going to Athens, GA to watch one of my husband's great friends get married.  I was excited!!!  Totally pumped!  Our first family vacation!  I had it perfectly planned.

Which as soon as I said I had it perfectly planned, it pretty much meant it was shot to shit.

Friday, we were to fly out at 930am.  Now, being that we've never flown with a baby before, we got to the airport extra early.  We were comfortably sitting at our gate at 8am.  At about 830am, we realized our flight was delayed by 45 minutes...which ended up turning into a roughly 4 hour delay.  This also meant we'd be landing smack dab in the middle of Friday night, rush-hour traffic in Atlanta, GA.  NOT MY CUP OF TEA!  Bye-bye, oh so perfect plan!

I will give the Delta crew credit; I've never seen a plane be boarded, up in the air, and then taxi'd to a gate in Atlanta so fast.  Bless them for trying to hurry it up!

Sprout did freaking awesome.  Plane didn't bother him a bit.  I, however, had the cold from hell and my nose would NOT.STOP.RUNNING!!!

Once we got to Atlanta, minus the traffic and a little oops with the Maps app on the iPhone, we were on our way to Athens, GA.  Sprout did terrific but once we were in the hotel room, he was ready to not be held, sitting, or messed with in any other fashion.  That boy wanted to play!

Saturday I woke up feeling much better.  We did our thing in Athens and went to the wedding.  I had a ton of fun and it was beautiful!  Totally what I thought a picture perfect Southern wedding would look like.  And there was a photo booth!  Score!

My skin looks great in those photos!

Anyway, I digress.  

Flight back home was fine, but we were certainly tired by then.  My cold had come back for revenge and all I wanted was some damn Qdoba nachos.  Thanks Jake for getting me some!

So...yeah, I ate super, duper shitty the ENTIRE vacation.  And it lasted into Monday as well because I was just so tired.  I could have slept a year it felt like.  But I'm back on track and with a loss!--More on that tomorrow.

But what was the real kicker, is that Monday, I found out my mom does indeed have breast cancer.  

I previously wrote about how Cancer is a Bitch but didn't want to give my mom's identity out because not everyone in the family knew.  

Now, I've been told that if there was such a thing as a 'good' breast cancer, she's got it.  It's early, but since she's had cancer in that region before there are some complications.  We'll find more about that next week.  

Needless to say, I was upset and sort of took a break from Facebook and any other form of social media.  I even stopped pinning for a bit on Pinterest!  What, what?!?!  I know, crazy!

But, I'm bitter.  I feel like my mom was dealt a horrendous cancer card with her lung cancer and she totally beat that 15 years ago.  She should get a free pass from any future cancer.  

Obviously, it's not how it works.  And it sucks...ass...big time.

For now, everyone is remaining super positive and I know she's got this in the bag.  I think more than anything, I just don't want cancer to be hidden in some deep, dark place and spring up again a few years from now and we are back at square one.  

So yeah, that was my super fun vacation.  

What was supposed to be totally relaxing, wasn't, but if anything, I feel closer to my family and feel beyond blessed to have my child!!

Whaaaaaa!!!

I feel like a big baby going to the ER for back pain but O M G!!! I've had a baby and didn't feel anything like this.

I picked up Sprout in the middle of the night and walked in to the living room.  I was just about to put Sprout down when my middle of the back completely seized up.  I felt like I couldn't breathe and was utterly paralyzed--probably from the excruciating pain and because I was terrified I would drop the baby.

Jake rushed out after I screamed and quickly grabbed Sprout.  I was a blubbering mess and in total denial about what was happening. 

After arguing that a heat pad would miraculously cure the pain for about a half hour, I gave in and went to the ER.  

I just hate going to the ER.  I guess I feel silly, but the doctor was great.  He made me feel better and said that people don't realize how severe back pain can be and that I would only get better with medication.  

So, here is my diagnosis--thoracic spine strain.  Hurts like a son of a bitch and I hope I feel better ASAP so I can get back to jogging and most of all, hold my baby!!  

Anyone else throw out their back?  How long to recover?  Any spiffy tricks on how to get it to relax and stop the spasms?  

I feel so lame!  I was supposed to do day 2 of week 4 of Couch to 5K.  That's definitely a no go today!

I was born a travelin' gal!

In just a few days I am about to travel to Hotlanta!  Haha, okay, okay, Atlanta, GA.

And guess who's going with me?

Mr. Sprout!  

Well and the hubs, of course :o)

We are going to watch my husband's best friend get hitched and hopefully visit a few sites.

I'm super pumped about it.

The hubs....ehh....

He's nervous.  After all, we are traveling with a 5 1/2 month baby who could get cranky and start crying on a plane.

On a plane where you can't escape.

On a plane where everyone will look at you and point at you and laugh at you and well, you get the point.

I was once one of those childless travelers.  

I'd think "UGH!  A baby on a plane?!?!  Are they nuts!!??"

And then of course, "Shit, hope they don't sit close to me!"

So, I know as soon as Drake giggles with glee or screams for food, someone is going to roll their eyes and want to change flights ASAP.  I was totally THAT person.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!!!

But now, I have a kid and quite frankly, will NOT let having a kid keep me at home.  Sprout has been out and about since he was about 2 weeks old and once he was 2 months old, we started going out a lot more.  I'm sure someone out there just gasped and is calling me a bad mother.  Oh well!  Your opinion!

I have a theory that the more you have your kids out and about, the more they will get used to it, understand what it's all about, blah, blah, blah.  And as they get older, it will be increasingly more FUN to go and do things!  

I have cousins in Las Vegas and they take their kids EVERYWHERE.  I want to to do that.  

Do their kids have melt downs?  Absolutely.

Do their kids make a stink over nothing?  Totally.

Didn't we all do that at some point when we were a kid?  Of course.

So I don't really fret.  If anything, I make a joke about it and carry on with taking care of my kid.

Sprout, Jake and I are headed to the South!!  Can't wait to be in Georgia and can't wait to go to what will undoubtedly be a beautiful wedding!  It's going to be a blast and I get to put my 'travel agent' skillz to work :o)

Oh and holla!  I cut my hair for those of you who don't follow me on Facebook.

More than just getting healthy...

This blog is more than just all about me getting fit and healthy so I can keep up with the totally cute, adorable, fantastic, awesome, beyond amazing Sprout.

It's also about making the RIGHT decisions in my life.

My husband is going to college to get his BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing).  

It's a HUGE deal, but it also means we are gobbling up more debt.

It's not fun, but we feel it's necessary so he'll be more satisfied at a job.  He's passionate about the field and I think he'll be great in it.

I've hinted on Facebook that I am truly excited about some changes.  So I'm finally getting around to writing about it ;o)

Well, not only are we getting healthy in a nutritious way, but we are getting healthy financially.

I stumbled upon Dave Ramsey - google him now! - and wow!  Just in a few days I already feel like our lives have changed.

 

I read his book and sat down with the hubs and we made our first REAL budget.

I feel kinda stupid because I always did have a budget, or so I thought, but my eyes were opened when I had to allocate every single dime in Ramsey's Zero Budget.  Holy crap we wasted money on stupid shit.

Needless to say, it's going to be tough.  But it's going to be worth it.  It's going to suck come Christmas time when I can't buy everything in the world for the people I love, but they will love it when in a few years, I'll be able to treat them to some nice things because I won't have to rob Peter to pay Paul.

I'm just looking forward to seeing my very first student loan ever be paid off vs. waiting until 2030 as it suggests.  I would be 48 years old if I kept paying on my student loans as I am today.  Dude - that's 'old'!  

So long story short, I'm pumped!!  I've already had a challenge by going to Costco and NOT buying Sprout clothes or trying something scrumptious from the freezer aisle.  It was hard to say NO, but I did it!  I'll have to post more about this as we go through the steps Ramsey sets out in his book.  Just like losing weight, there will be some fails, maybe even epic fails, but as the saying goes 'fall 7 times, get back up 8'.

Cancer is a Bitch

Of all the places it could have happened, my Mom told me she had lung cancer inside a Wal-Mart.

I still have the image of my hands fiddling with the hangers burned inside my mind.  I can see the checkouts and fluorescent lights beating down on me.  I could feel the anger bubbling, trying to escape.  After all, I had tried to get my parents to quit smoking multiple times to no avail. I wanted to BLAME someone, something!!

That was nearly 15 years ago.

After undergoing both aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatments at same time, I'm happy to report that she annihilated that lung cancer and made it her 'bitch'.  At the same time, I was a pretty awful teenager and tried to drown out her treatment side-effects by yelling at my Dad and since he was still smoking, I told him that he was in fact killing her.  

Yeah, I actually said that to my dad.  And I regret it to this very day. 

Since then, people I've known have continued to be affected by cancer.  And honestly, I think once someone is diagnosed with cancer, they constantly have it in the back of their mind that it might come back - maybe not in the same form, but somehow, cancer will strike again.

And that's how I'm feeling right now.

I was recently told that someone close to me found a lump in their breast and has to undergo a biopsy.  This person has had cancer before and I could tell that they were scared or at least considerably anxious about what the results will be.

After they told me, I was numb.  

What should a person feel when they are told this?  Angry?  Sad?  

The eternal optimist inside me says 'Well, no sense in worrying until we actually know what the lump is....afterall, people get cysts and all sorts of weird things that grow in their body harmlessly.'  <Insert plastic smile here>

But in all honestly, I'm scared.   I'm scared that it might actually be cancer and it might take this person's life.  And I'm also mad as hell!

Mad that yet again, I am back thinking about how it will affect ME and I'm not even the person that may/may not have to have cancer treatments.  I'm all worried about how MY life will be changed.

Uhhh...hello!  It's going to change their life more than anyone's!!!  

Cancer is selfish.

Cancer makes me feel selfish.

Cancer is...

Hopefully, all is well and the lump is just that - a lump.  Nothing malicious about it and worse-case scenario, it can be safely removed, end of story.  

But until we know the results, Cancer is there, lurking in the back our minds.  

Weigh-In Wednesday #2

Linking up with Heather from Pretty Strong Medicine and her gals, Amy, Bailey and Ash!

HOT DOG!!

I was pretty happy with what the scale said this morning!

Here are my stats:

Current Weight:  271.6
Previous Weigh-In:  274.4
Week's Loss:  2.8 lbs!
Total Loss:  6.6 lbs!

My little mini-goal in my head was to get out of the 270's by the time I head to Atlanta which is next week Friday.  I am hoping I can drop at least 1.7lbs so I'll at least be 269.9.

I don't know why the 270's bother me so much since I've actually been heavier.  I lost weight before my pregnancy because I nearly got to 290 - very scary as that meant if I did get pregnant at that point, I'd 100% be over 300 lbs by the time I had Sprout.  It wasn't going to happen, hence my call to action.  

So what am I doing right and what am I still needing to work on?

Portion Control - Guess what ya'll - I.  Eat.  Out.  Not a lot, but it happens, especially on the weekends.  I know I'm not great at picking the most healthy thing at a restaurant so I always challenge myself to NOT eat it ALL.  Even if that means just eat half my sandwich or cut down the number of slices of pizza I would normally eat.  Every little change helps in my book and as I become comfortable, I will stretch myself to try healthier choices.

Working Out - Dude, I am rocking this!  I'm uber committed to this Couch to 5K thing.  I am repeating week 3 as I was feeling very uncomfortable jogging a full 3 minutes and week 4 has me jogging 5.  I've realized the heat and humidity does have something to do with my endurance so looking to try to work out when it's cooler.  Unfortunately, Missouri weather is highly unpredictable.  This morning it is GORGEOUS - nice and cool with a wonderful breeze.  Yesterday - hot, sticky, gross, but very pretty.  I can never tell if I should workout in the morning or in the evening.  For now, I'm sticking with the AM.  I feel better the rest of the day when I get a morning workout in.

Dude - I'm a sweaty mess right here.  I always feel so ugly when working out :o(

Weekends - This is where I struggle.  Every weekend we have something going on that involves eating out.  Yes, I am portion controlling, but I'd really like to learn how to make healthier choices and avoid eating out when it's not an absolute must.  Sunday we went shopping and it happened to fall into lunch time.  Instead of just waiting an extra 20 minutes to get home, we stopped and got some fast food.  Granted, smaller portions so a minor win, but still--fast food!  Ick!  Trying to get away from that!!  

Meal Plans - I'm totally sucking here.  I was reading Pretty Strong Medince's post on food wasting and I am a total food waster!!!  It's got to stop.  Not only is it good money going down the drain, but by not having a solid meal plan, it's causing us to fall back into old ways when we are in a pinch.  Not good!

So here's my goals this next week:

#1 - Eat out only once for Father-in-law's Bday Party at an awesome Mexican Place!  Yum!

#2 - Make a meal plan and stick to it.  I've been considering challenging myself to only spend like $30-40 a week on groceries - does not include diapers/formula.  Anyone do this before?  I've been pinning like mad trying to come up with recipes I could do this with....

#3 - Try a new food!  I've been eating Whips! Strawberry Mist yogurt and I think it's time I try the real fruit.  Yes, that's right, I don't eat Strawberries.  I remember my grandma trying to get me to eat them by dipping them in sugar, but I was such a picky eater when I was a kid that it was a no go.  Well, it's time to give them a whirl!

Photo from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry

Hit me up with some food ideas everyone - how do you save on your grocery bills?  Any tips/tricks to creating a meal plan for the week?  

A funny thing happened this weekend...

I'm so pumped to write about this weekend!

A few things happened that seriously rocked my world!

#1 - I had my best workout in the Couch to 5K program yet.  Sad thing is that my dang phone died about midway through...whomp, whomp...  So I have no idea what my actual stats were.  However, I still completed workout 3 of week 3 because I knew the distances I was supposed to be able to achieve during the time intervals.  And guess what?!?!  I ROCKED IT!  

Like, I seriously did!  (Okay, valley girl, settle down!)  I don't think I've jogged a full 1/4 mile since probably high school or roughly 13 years ago.  So for me to be able to do it not just once, but twice was freaking fantastic.  

I've also totally realized that I am scared shitless of jogging more than a quarter of a mile at one time.  My head is already telling me that I won't make it and that I'll fail, my ankle will give out, blah blah blah.  Well guess what!  I probably will suck it up the first few times, but that's OKAY.  I realize now that the Couch to 5K program isn't about mastering every workout, it's about seeing improvement.  If you struggle with one week, do it again!  

My awesome view working out early Saturday

#2 - Even though I'm not seeing a big poundage loss (I've actually been trying since June to lose weight so that's why 3.8lbs isn't really blowing up my skirt if you know what I mean), I'm finally seeing it in my clothes.

Saturday we were off to visit my friends and visit my college alma mater.  I, of course, was stressing over clothes cause I didn't want to feel super fat, especially since it might be pretty ripe with humidity that day.  And I tried on some pants that had previously been snug and they were...wait for it....wait for it....LOOSE!  Not like falling down loose, but loose enough I had to wear super cute underwear so if I bent over in public they wouldn't see plain whitey tighties.  Yes, that's how my mind thinks....

This totally made my day and boosted my confidence.  I'm really enjoying these tiny victories that will lead up to the BIG victory.

#3 - I always swore that when I had children that I would still have my own 'life'.  I didn't want my child to be all consuming and therefore I forget who I am, I lose all my friends, my marriage goes in the tank, etc etc etc....

And having lunch with some girlfriends on Friday made me realize my child is the center of my world right now and that does NOT mean that everything else goes down the drain.  

I'm still me :o)  I still love my husband and make time for 'us'.  I still go out with my friends and visit people.  And I'm quite content and actually pretty dang happy about it all.  

I think what's helping me, is that:

A) I pack pretty light compared to other parents. 

B)  I've always told myself that I'd include my child in whatever I could - hence him flying to Atlanta, GA with us in a couple of weeks.  He LOVES visiting people right now and seeing different things.  Granted, this will eventually change and he'll want to cling to Mom and Dad - every kid goes through that stage, but we'll deal with it and he'll be better for being so out and about.  

C)  Even though Sprout is pretty much the center of my world, he's the center of my world WITH my husband.  We both love watching him, interacting with him and sharing those private moments away from everyone where he looks up and you know he just KNOWS you are his Mommy.  LOVE!

But having lunch with my friends did open my eyes to the fact that DUH! - I'm not single any more and I have a family.  It still hasn't sunk in.....

I love it when he falls asleep on me!

Thanks for reading!

Spoonful of Sarah

Goodbye TV! I shall miss you! Sorta...

Having a kid can suck you dry - financially that is!

Before having Sprout, I used to think, man we don't have money just laying around.  How are we going to afford childcare?

Well, let me tell you, we can afford it and it AMAZES me how much money we just wasted before having him.  Ugh...the things we could have saved up for or paid off!  Oh well, hindsight is always 20/20, eh?

Sprout has definitely made me re-evaluate my health and happiness, which also included my finances.

My parents struggled when I was growing up, but they were still able to have a savings account.  My Mom always said 'Pay yourself first!' even if it was only $5 a week.  It adds up overtime if you leave it alone.  They sacrificed a lot so I could have things they didn't have growing up.  

I'd of course, like to do the same--give things I didn't have while growing up (without becoming a spoiled brat!).

So that leads me to saying goodbye to TV.  I said goodbye on June 11, 2013.  A month later and guess what??  

I don't miss it.  

Sure, it was nice to watch marathons of HGTV shows and getting lost in some of my guilty pleasure like re-runs of America's Next Top Model.  SMIZE!!  My husband will say he doesn't like these shows yet somehow he would manage to learn the names of the hosts or models...

But it also led to me sitting for hours, avoiding working out, cooking a healthy meal, the list goes on and on.  

Now, I will admit we do subscribe to Hulu and Netflix, but I really only find myself catching up on Supernatural occasionally.  Sorry hubs - I love me some Jensen Ackles!  

Pic from doblelol.com

Just look at those perfect teeth!  I know, I'm weird - who freaking obsesses over teeth?!?!

Anyway, other than sneaking in the occasional Supernatural episode, I find myself thinking "Hmmmm, what's a gal to do with herself?"

I finally am nesting in my own damn house, 2 years after moving in...

It feels good!

I feel like I MOVE more!

I feel like I'm not SITTING constantly!  

I just feel FREE from the damn couch and the damn TV!  I do NOT miss it!

I feel LIBERATED!  

I also feel really stupid for not realizing just how much time TV took up part of my life.  I don't want my child glued to the TV and it seems as people get older, the only thing they do is watch even more TV.  I don't want to be that person.  I want to be out and about, rocking my wrinkly butt to concerts, parks, malls, whatever.

So in the end, not only did ending TV free up some $$ for diapers/formula (oh the delusions I had about breast feeding!), but it's freeing up time for me to spend with Sprout, the Hubs, friends and other family.  And more importantly, it's freeing me from the couch.  

Weigh-In Wednesday #1

I've been dreading this post.

I've been a bad, bad girl lately.

It all started Friday when my Internet went down.  I was good and had a healthy lunch on the go - soup and half a sandwich!  Yummmmmm!

But then came dinner and the awful, sticky, "humid as balls" as my bestie says, Missouri Summer.  I was in a truck with no air conditioning and dammit I was thirsty and wanted a Coke....so that somehow meant I was going to eat McDonald's.  Ugh...

But I woke up Saturday determined to not fall back into the eating out rhythm that gets me into trouble.

I joined my friends at the zoo for several hours and believe me, I got a nice workout going up and down hills pushing a stroller.  Dang kid isn't even 6 months and he's heavy!

What a face!

At the Seal Exhibit - too cool!

Packed a nice lunch and I did indulge in some Dip 'N Dots, but it maybe amounted to a scoop of ice cream.  It was a nice treat since I was sweating buckets and hoping my friends weren't noticing.  Sigh...another reason I want to lose the weight - won't sweat so damn much!

But then came Saturday night and I was STARVING!!!  So we ate out, again.  

Then came Sunday and by golly I wasn't going to eat out and then guess what, I did.  I had Denny's withe the In-Laws.  Which was actually really nice after walking around a flea market.  But soooo not on my meal plan!

And McDonald's followed yet again.  So what I was hoping to see on the scale obviously reflected a super shitty weekend filled with nasty, greasy (omg so delicous!) food.

And because of this, I wanted to avoid writing this post.  Heck, I even avoided the blogs I follow!  Not that they know me, but I was afraid they'd figure out I was a fraud, a failure, or Lord knows what!  

But I can't avoid this blog, mirrors, pictures, and my friends forever.  So here I am in all my glory!

I look so freaking happy in those pictures!  Geesh!  It's like my cat died or something.  Note to self: SMILE!

So the one silver lining to the past week is that I have been doing my workouts.  I'm doing the Couch to 5K and just started week 3 and guess what - I jogged for a whole 3 minutes without dying.  Honestly, can't tell you how much I thought this would NOT happen.  3 minutes ain't a lot compared to me running a whole 3 miles at once,  but it's a start.

And even better!  I figured out why I was letting myself eat so poorly.  I thought I wasn't seeing any improvement on the track.  Then Monday night I reviewed my stats, I realized it was all in my head.  My walking speed has gotten much quicker and my jogging is picking up too.  I'll have to get my stats together and share.  But as soon as I found that out I was like DING-LIGHTBULB!  Thought I was failing so I sabotaged myself.  SABOTAGE!  

Ugh...

One thing I'd like to know - how to jog faster!  I really am super slow.  I'm trying so hard to not look down and maintain a good, or hell decent!, posture.  Any tips are most welcome!  

Oh and shout out to Amy @ Write this Down, Bailey @ Being Bailey J, and Ash @ A Step in the Right Direction for sponsoring Weigh-In Wednesday.  Check out their blogs and others that follow them!